Game: Mass Effect 3
Characters/Pairing: Thane Krios, Kolyat Krios, f!Shepard

"Kalahira, mistress of inscrutable depths, I ask forgiveness".
  
   I am begging the elevator to goes faster, and clenching, and unclenching fists. Just a moment, just ... Why? I knew he was going to die, but not now, not so! No! There are a lot of words that I want to say and now … is it too late? No! I biting lip and covered face by hands, wanting to relieve the groan that is ready to break free. And at this moment the door has dispersed with a quiet rustle.  
Excited voices and hoarse shouts stunned me. It has made me to flinch and to freeze in the middle of the hospital's hall. Where must I go? With whom must I speak? It was at first, when I didn't know what to do - there weren't any thoughts, only the fear that clenched the heart. The legs themselves carried me forward - instinctively. The pain disappeared under the mask of confidence - a robot, not a woman, worse geta. The hero, who should not be afraid, that didn't suffer, even when his soul was dying ...
- Commander Shephard?
I startled and turned around - in front of me stood a young doctor. He said something again, but what I didn't hear, as if turned off the sound. Consciousness, it seemed, was divided into two parts: the one filtered information indifferently and gave out the correct reaction; the other frantically squirmed and writhed in pain. It prayed cried, sobbed loudly, beat hands against the wall. This part is wanting and unable to change anything. Invisible, hidden in confidence, dry movements of Commander Shepard, it was helpless and ...
   I entered the room slowly, met with Kolyat Krios and gasped. My heart twitched and stood still, the lump stuck in my throat - too late? Thane died? No! He lives and breathes! Air escaped from the lungs with a hoarse sound - mine or his lungs?
   I answered something Kolyat and went to Thane on wadded foots. To whom must I pray? Whom do I ask? If I could have died for him! The hero, who can't save a loved one who haven't even the right to mourn...
   Thane looked at me and whispered, almost inaudibly:
- Siha ... I'm afraid, I chose a bad time to die.
His hoarse voice seemed to cut the nerves and tore nearly from my chest the screaming - "No, Thane! I'll find a medicine, be patient. Don't leave me! I will die... already dead ..."
   Instead, I touched his hand and said that he wanted to hear.
   - You can't disappoint me, Thane. Even now.
   Even now, I had no right to just be a woman: a weak, defenseless ... Hero is the machine, not woman.
   Thane faintly smiled and squeezed my fingers.
   - What are the nice words ... exx ... exx ... I'm sorry. It's hard to breathing.
   I absorbed Thane like a sponge - the words and movements - tried to remembering, not wanting to forget. Not only drells can remember ...
  
"Kalahira whose waves wear down stone and sand. Kalahira, wash the sins from this one and set him on the distant shore of the infinite spirit. Kalahira, this one's heart is pure, but beset by wickedness and contention. Guide this one to where traveler never tires, the lover never leaves, the hungry never starve. Guide this one, Kalahira, and she will be a companion to you as she was to me ".
  
   I didn't remember how turned up aboard the "Normandy," when changed clothes and pour myself a brandy. I woke up near the terminal and was holding a glass half-full with alcohol. The all sailed before the eyes. The bitter tears flowed down my cheeks and were burning in me remains of humanity. And only whisper broke dead silence:
   - Meet you across the sea...
  
"By grace given me by the Goddess Arashu, I bid her divine protection to you, my warrior-angel, my Siha, to light your path through the coming darkness. To give you hope, when all seems lost".
  
Next mist was again. Life as though divided into "before" and "after." I was different: not alive and not dead. Every step was hard, every breath was painful - it was inside, outside was in a different way - to break the darkness, a ray of light should be bright.
But the moment came soon when I could no longer play in a "hero" - "artificial fire" has quenched. The death of friends pressed on my shoulders, bending to the ground: Ash, Mordin, Thane and Legion ... There weren't more tears as anger - there was only tiredness, and one question: "Who else must to die to save a Galaxy?"
  
"Kalahira, mistress of inscrutable depths, I ask forgiveness. You are great protector, Siha, but some things are beyond even you".
  
Yes, some things are beyond even me - you're right, Thane. No matter how hard I'm trying I will not save everyone. Fragments of the past flashed before my eyes... Conversation with Garrus at the top of the Presidium - the wind in my face, the laughter and the sound of gunfire. With Liara in my cabin aboard the "Normandy" - kind words, and boundless faith in me. With Tali on Rannoch - thoughts of home and the bright glow on the space suit. With the Joker, and EDI in "Purgatory" - loud music, awkward movements of Jeff. With Kaiden in the cafe of the Presidium - a painful silence, sadness and regret about what has been said on the Horizon. With Admiral Anderson ... Enough! This is time to end this war, I must make a choice - there is nowhere else to retreat! Everything ends here and now! Farewell, and forgive me...  

"I will await you across the sea".
  
   The sunlight blinded my eyes, and disappeared reflected in the haze. Behind, the sea, wave after wave, incident on the shore, and golden sand stretched ahead. Just on the horizon it could be seen the leafy edge of the oasis. A warm wind blew my face and ruffled hair down. Short white dress clung to the body. And I wanted with this wind fly up into the blue sky - it was so easy on the soul, because it has disappeared, which prevented the spread my wings and find happiness. I took a hesitant step, one more and then ran off with closed eyes and arms outstretched to the sides - towards the unknown.
   Stopped only when I heard barely audible "Siha". I turned sharply with bated breath fearing and hoping the same time. He stood in front of me, smiling broadly and holding out his hand - the same as always: to madness native, a beautiful ... My Thane. My heart skipped a beat and I sank into his arms. He touched my cheeks, lips, wiping tears, and whispered:
   - I missed you, Siha. You haven't been a long time. Come on, we are waiting you...
  
"But don't forget - ever say" Goodbye "to the life we left behind".
  
   Red-black dense smoke hid the sky. Explosions ceased. It became quieter ... Everywhere were heard cries and moans of the wounded men, swearing turians soldiers, growl krogans soldiers and warriors asari quiet voices. They aren't arguing. They shoveled piles of stones and metal, pulling survivors. Only one man stood in silence in the middle of this chaos, clenching his fists and listened to the report of Lieut. The man was still young, but has whitewashed his graying temples. Deep folds were formed between the lips and eyebrows, as if he used to frown than to smile.
   Kaiden angrily shrugged his shoulders. Pale lieutenant stood at attention, not daring to say anything, when the Major growled:
   - How can you not find it? I order you to continue the search! Without Commander Shepard can't go back!
   Soldier immediately evaporated. Alenko just twisted his lips and rubbed his forehead. Behind him there was a rustle, and someone said quietly:
   - Kaiden! This Lieutenant didn't do something wrong!
   Major abruptly turned and scowled at asari - dirty, torn in battle space suite, but living in a time when...
   - Liara, do you suggest to stop the search?
   - No, but...
   Kaiden again shrugged his shoulders, and clenched his fists more - to a crisp.
   - I was once believed that she died without ever seeing the body ... It will not happen again! I will not betray her...
   Liara came close to Alenko and touched his shoulder.
   - Kaiden...
   He quickly stepped back and narrowed his eyes.
   - Do not say anything. I know that Shepard is still alive.
   T'Soni shook her head and looked on the ruins, not believing in miracles...